River in Egypt
by Tashilover
Summary: Perry doesn't believe in love at first sight.
1. Chapter 1

Perry swished his drink of rum and coke around lazily. He mutely enjoyed the sound of the ice clinking together and when his hand got cold, he would take a small swing and switch hands.

He often did this, at these types of parties. People watching. When he was younger he did it to improve his drawing abilities. Nowadays he did to get a reading on people. Their mannerisms told him all he needed to know about their personalities.

Like that busty blonde woman in the corner, talking to that brown haired guy; The way she tossed her hair and wiggled her hips at the brown haired guy. She was trying too hard, Perry could tell. Either she needed to get laid really badly, or she was trying to get something else from this guy by using sex as bait.

Or that black guy who was by himself, keeping near the buffet table. Judging by the ring on his finger, he came here with his wife and was abandoned sometime during the night. Instead of feeling bored and rejected, he took it upon himself to raid the table. Smart man.

Then there was that kid- the actor he was suppose to train. Perry knew as soon as Dabney had his fill mingling with some of the cute actresses here, he would introduce Perry to the kid.

So at that moment, the Detective was contented to watch this young man from far away. Harry was his name. Good looking kid, bad taste in clothes though. He also stuck out like a sore thumb. He awkwardly moved around the party, only smiling in apology when he'd accidentally bump into someone.

Perry couldn't get a read on him other than the kid was obviously not from L.A. He didn't look bored, just out of place. Like a straight man on a gay cruise, Perry thought amusingly.

He watched as Harry hung around the heated pool, playing with the water by tapping his foot on the surface. It was almost like watching a child- all Perry had to do was wait for this kid to fall in and scream for someone to save him.

Then Harry did something that made Perry blink. The kid kneeled down and scooped something out of the pool. From where Perry stood, it looked like a leaf.

The kid carefully maneuvered to a nearby tree and placed this leaf on a limb.

Curious now, Perry waited for Harry to walk away to see what was so important about this leaf.

It was a moth. A small gray moth. Harry saved an insect from drowning.

Perry chuckled. So the kid had a heart. Interesting.

He kept a closer eye on the kid for the rest of the night. Perry kept his distance however, lest he be called a stalker. So when the kid went into the house Perry decided that was it for the night and wait till they were formally introduced later.

A few minutes later, Perry heard some kind of fight taking place near the pool. A few people who knew who he was gave him a pointed look that basically said, "Aren't you going to do anything?"

Let's get one thing clear: Perry is a detective, he's not a fucking police officer. He is not under any obligation to put his neck on the line to help anyone else, let alone stop a fight that was probably between two drunken idiots.

Curiosity got the better of him and he decided to check it out.

He only saw the end of the fight. The party goer gave his unknown victim a sucker kick to the back, spat out an insult and left. As Perry noticed nobody was going to move to help the guy, he sighed dramatically and walked over. Imagine his surprise when he realized the poor schmuck was the actor, Harry Lockhart. The kid had a bloody nose and a small cut over his eye.

"Hey," Perry said, holding out a hand. "You okay?"

Harry blinked at him and nodded quickly. "Yeah," He said, taking his hand. "One of these days I'll actually learn to fight."

Perry had to smirk at that. Kid just got the shit kicked out of him and still had enough balls to make fun of himself.

"Here," Perry handed out a handkerchief. "Harry Lockhart, right? I'm Perry Von Shrike."

Realization dawns upon the kid's face. "Oh yeah, you're…you're the whatchmacallit…"

C'mon…say it…ga-

"The consultant," He finishes.

Second time he's impressed him tonight. Perry was just waiting for him to say 'gay' and then look upon him with either disgust, acceptance, or something in between.

"So wait," Harry continued after dabbing away most of the blood from his nose. "That would make you g-…uh…"

Perry gave an internal groan. At least the kid tried. "Gay Perry?"

"Ah…" Uncomfortable silence. "Still gay?"

Oh _god. _Perry hadn't heard a comment that idiotic since high school. "Me? Oh no, I'm knee deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it."

Harry paused and Perry could see the kid couldn't tell if he was kidding or not. Seriously, he couldn't tell?

Grabbing the little first aid kit from underneath the kitchen sink, Perry had the kid sit down on the counter. Harry had already wiped away most of the blood from his bleeding nose, all Perry had to do was clean the cuts.

As he disinfected the wounds, Perry took the moment to get a really good look at the kid.

His first impressions were correct: The kid was cute. Not handsome, but something about his features were unique and memorable. Big brown eyes, short dark curly hair, and thin lips that took on a pouting look as Perry wiped the cut above his eyebrow with alcohol. "So tell me," Perry said as he moved to the cut on his cheek. "What did you do to get that guy to beat the shit out of you?"

"Oh, you know," Harry sighed. "He's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock-n-roll. I told him Garth Brooks sucks and he slugged me across the face."

So the kid was funny. How nice. "Seriously, how?"

He sighed again. "He was groping some drunk girl and I told him to stop. He didn't like that very much."

"Were you hoping you'd get laid?"

"By whom, the guy?"

Perry snorted. "The girl, you idiot."

"Considering she was unconscious at the moment, no. Just FYI, I don't stop guys from groping unconscious girls then do it myself. That would be hypocritical," The kid rolled his eyes.

Perry had to smirk again. He liked this kid.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you mean, _they gave her back?_"

"I'm staring straight at her, Perry!" Harry's voice was deeply shaken. "She's lying on my bathroom floor."

Perry cursed quietly. This was getting big, bigger than the both of them. How the hell did his case go from spotting on an adulterous husband to finding a dead girl? "Harry, you know what this means, right? They were at the party."

"Right. Gotcha," A pause. "What party?"

Idiot! "Dabney's party. The killers were at that party. They saw you there, that's how they recognize you from the lake. Harry, are you with me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I am. What should I do?"

Perry swung the wheel into a hard left, making a violent, very illegal U-turn. He avoided hitting another car head on and ignored a particular finger thrown his way. "Okay, first wrap up the body, in a bed sheet, the shower curtain, something. I'm coming over right now. Now I need you to say this with me Harry, _find the gun. _Did you hear me? Find the gun."

"Right. Find the gun, find the gun…what gun?"

Perry could've groaned. Seriously, this guy was an actor? Had he never watched a cop movie before? "If the body's there, that means they also planted a gun. They also probably called the police by now."

"Perry…" Harry whispered quietly. "I peed on her."

Perry blinked. Did he hear that right? "You…what?"

"I peed on the corpse," The kid moaned. "Can they identify me through pee…?"

"Wait, wait…I don't even want to KNOW how you did such a thing or even why. Just do what I told you to do and I'll see you in five minutes." He clicked off his cell phone.

What the hell was he doing? The moment he saw the kid's number flashing on his phone, he should've ignored it. Even more, why the hell was going to him? Why was he helping him? Why did he even care?

Perry stared angrily at his reflection in his rearview mirror. No answers were going to come from there.

He got back to the hotel in record time, parking his car in an alley between buildings. He quickly made his way to the elevator, ignoring the bellhop and the old lady asking him to hold the doors. He thought he saw that same old lady giving him the finger but it happened too fast.

He got off on Harry's floor, and he paused momentarily, trying to remember what room was his.

"Perry!" Came the harsh whisper to his right.

He turned and spotted Harry, half standing out of his hotel room, motioning him inside. Perry only saw the kid a few moments ago and frowned at the sudden change. There was a real fear in the kid's eye, along with panic. Wordlessly he followed him into the room.

The corpse was wrapped tightly in the bed sheets and Perry was pleased to see that neither hair nor feet stuck out from either side. If they were seen, it'll only look as if they were carrying a rolled carpet or a mess of laundry.

They gathered the corpse up- she was surprisingly light- and carried her out of the room. Perry went straight for the stairs and halted when he felt Harry wasn't following diligently. The kid jerked his head towards the sign 'roof.'

Perry winced at the sound of the body crashing into the dumpster far below and wondered how many bones she broke. A part of him knew he was going to hell for defiling a corpse so badly. Hopefully, maybe, the new injuries will help cover any evidence pointing to him or Harry.

"Jesus," He heard the kid moaned when the girl slammed into the dumpster. "Jesus…"

Perry sighed. He forgot the kid wasn't from around here. Most people in L.A would probably feel like a heel from doing such a thing, but the kid looked as if someone told him his puppy was brutally murdered. "C'mon," He said to Harry, tugging on his arm.

Once in the alley, Perry saw the sheet had come undone and half of the girl's body was showing. The sight was gruesome, Perry could easily see both of her legs were broken, a snapped femur stuck up from the grey bloated flesh. The detective was desensitized from such sights, but not Harry.

"Wait here," He told the kid and quickly went ahead. _I don't have time to be doing this, _he thought sourly as he tugged the sheet around the mangled legs. He looked back over his shoulder to Harry, noted his pale face. No, he couldn't let the kid see this. It'll kill him.

Once done he called Harry over to help him. The body felt heavier this time. Using one hand to open the trunk, Perry shoved the corpse in, hastily bending those same broken legs to make her fit.

He suddenly stiffened.

"Kiss me."

Harry's brown eyes blinked stupidly. "What?"

"Kiss me," Perry grabbed him, pulling him close.

He grabbed the kid's head, slamming his lips upon his. He wrapped his other arm around Harry's torso, bringing him closer.

Harry gave off a muffled scream and tried to push away. Perry didn't relent, only made his grip tighter.

A light fell upon them.

It took a second or two for Harry to realize what the light was and where it was coming from. Once that was registered in his brain, he relaxed a bit in Perry's grip, awkwardly stroking his arm.

They stayed like this for a few seconds longer until the light pulled away.

Harry pushed himself away from Perry, sputtering and spitting. "You know what? These lessons suck!" He muttered, wiping his lips.

Perry wiped his own lips, though it was mostly for show.


	3. Chapter 3

The breeze felt good. Usually Perry would spend a few minutes enjoying the wind at his own leisure, but at the moment his attentions were diverted elsewhere.

Perry shook his head. "This is getting too scary, Harry. Leave town, go back to New York."

"Right, right," Harry agreed, rubbing his head. "I'll leave on Wednesday."

"No, tonight. "

"I can't leave tonight, I have an audition."

Perry sighed. He didn't want to crush the kid's dreams. "Skip it. You're not going to get the part."

Harry threw him a look. "That's encouraging. Look, I'll just do my audition-"

"Harry…"

"- then I'll leave-"

"Harry…!"

"- at least look encouraging, Perry. This could be my big break-"

"HARRY!" Perry had to scream to finally shut the kid's mouth. "Colin Farrell wants too much money."

The kid frowned. "Okay, what does that-"

Geez, this kid was really dense. "It's just the way Hollywood is," Perry explained, wondering if this is how parents feel when they're telling their kids Santa Claus doesn't exist. "Fly in a new kid, works cheap. Big show, big parties, high profile hotel rooms, detective lessons, the works. The producers then scrape off a couple of million from Colin Farrell's paycheck. You're not going to get the part, Harry."

It was like getting kicked in the nuts, Perry thought as he saw Harry's face fall. It was the truth. Most actors take the rejection with great maturity, willing to step aside to allow a bigger, better actor to take their part. It didn't hurt any less, but they took it in stride.

Perry lowered his gaze, suddenly feeling guilty on how abrupt he broke the news. "I guess you feel like you want to take a swing at me now…"

That _wasn't_ an invitation.

Perry gave out a cry as Harry's poor left hook struck him across the jaw, knocking his sunglasses off. Perry recovered quickly, dodged Harry's next swing. He grabbed the kid's flaying arms, twisted them and locked the smaller body against his.

Perry was pissed. Here he was, acting sympathetic to the kid's cause and the little prick had the nerve to actually hit him. Forgetting his guilt, Perry told about Santa Claus. "Don't bother calling Harmony again," he hissed. "She didn't sound too happy when I told her that you weren't a real detective, that you _lied."_

Perry released him and Harry stumbled forward. The look of betrayal overtook Harry's look of hurt. "You told her? But why…? I thought… I thought we were friends."

"We're not friends. There is no such thing as friends, here, Harry. There's only clients, bosses, customers-"

"I was in trouble," Harry shook his head, unbelieving. "I called, and you were there for me…"

Perry snapped his fingers in front of the kid's face. "I was protecting my client. Hello? Dabney? He pays me to protect him from corpses."

The kid closed his mouth, a disbelieving frown on his lips. He looked as if he wanted to argue but didn't know how. "Must be nice," he finally said. "to wash away the blood with gold."

Perry blinked wildly at him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means-"

"Yeah, you know what? I really don't care," Perry replaced his glasses, sighed and said, "I'm not a nice guy, Harry. This is not a nice town. You don't belong here. Leave before something bad happens to you."

Harry suddenly took a threatening step forward, his fists curling at his side. "Are you threatening me?"

Perry resisted the urge to swap him across the head. "No, idiot, leave before the _bad guys _do something to you."

"Oh…"

"Merry Christmas," Perry said, turning away. "Sorry I fucked you over."

"Fine! No problem," Harry said to his back. "Don't quit your gay job."

It took hours, many hours later for Perry's temper to calm. And even then there was a tremble of anger beneath his frame. It shouldn't have bothered him. None of it should've. He heard worse, he'd experienced worse. Hell, when he was in college, three guys from his dorm nearly beat him to death. Despite that, Perry graduated that same year while those three idiots dropped out.

So why the hell did this bothered him so much?

_I thought we were friends._

They weren't. Perry didn't have friends. He had allies, he had contacts, he had clients. Friends were people you shared upmost trust with. Friends were people you hanged out with because they were fun and safe. Friends don't transport bodies together.

_I was in trouble. I called and you were there for me._

This time, Perry did laugh out loud. He can't believe how easily Harry classified friendship. Exactly what did he expect? For Perry not to react when the words, "There's a dead body in front of me" was uttered to him? Of course he was going to help.

The kid needed to leave. This town was just too tainted for him. Anyone who was willing to save a moth from drowning did not deserve to be here.

Perry shook off his coat and flopped down onto his couch. He groaned as his weight sunk in, grateful for the coolness of the leather and the pillow against his back.

He was on the verge of sleep when his phone shrilled suddenly of _I Will Survive. _He didn't particularly care for the song, but it is what people expected of him and it was easier to philander to their stereotypes than answer pointless questions.

He didn't want to answer, but it could be a client. He leaned over just as the song ended. A two note beep announced he had voice mail. He flipped the phone open and listened to it.

Imagine his surprise when he heard Harry's very enthusiastic voice. _"News flash. The girl Ames, is the little sister. I repeat, the little sister. That's where Harmony's two grand went. It's in your bank, you over-priced _bastard! _Are you getting this? Your case and my case…" _He paused dramatically. _"Are the same fuckin' case."_

The message ended. Immediately Perry sprung to his feet, grabbed his jacket and all but ran for the door. "That stupid, son of a bitch!"


End file.
